Confessions of a Beauty Queen

There are just way too many ugly people to look at. Dan, Gary, NaDonkey, Rebunka BOREWHORE.

At least there is an immediate strategy coming in. Vote them all out so we don't have to look at them anymore.

So I was already roped into a girl alliance with my San Juan Del Sur castmates, Natalie and Kelley. We'll see if I stick with it or not. Kelley is already grating my nerves with her forced "oh I'm neat and awkward" routine.

*puts a hand up* Like, stop bitch. Stop.

Hopefully I will get to yell and point my bitchy finger at someone and say DO NOT FUCKING SAY THAT YOU KNOW JON CAUSE YOU DON'T!!!!!! YOU KNOW HIM IN THE GAME NOT IN REAL LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck xoxo. Here's to winning 2 mystery games in a row!

Good luck gurl <3

Thanks, luv.

I don't know who I wanna align with. I like Dan a lot so far. Everybody else is sketch.

Dan's cool though! He said he planned to chew bubblegum and kick ass once the game started and that he was all out of bubble gum. I have no clue what any of it means but I asked if I could go along for the bubble gum chewing ride, all the way to the end of the game. He seems super active so he's definitely someone I want on my side early on.

I just realized I'm holding an apple in my picture. Very un-assumingly, I might add.

What are we going to do with the apple? *purses full, voluptuous lipz*

I could throw it at Dan's face?

I could eat it?

I could make someone else eat it and poison them.

Either way it is ominous and will come into play in a major way in this game.

I can be the Flirty Temptress. Or the Selfish Bitch. Or the Vile WITCH. I have these 3 personalities at my disposal.

*creepy music plays to indicate I'm a ruthless strategist!*

I somehow yet again managed to land in a beautiful position. I have to say, the three tribe format really benefits my overall strategy. I seemed to stumble right into a fantastic counter alliance against what I have decided is a really real threat in the game - Natalie. I read the thread where we picked the tribes.

If I'm in a room with you, why was I 3rd or 4th picked? Why was someone not hot like Rebecca picked first? And before Kelley or I?

So I start talking, to Boston Rob. Rob n Jaclyn, Jaclyn n Rob. Has a season - long ring to it.

But he and I hit it off soooo good, gosh, it's crazy how much I like this guy. He said he was sensing a bad vibe. I sense it as well.

And let's face it I had to strike fast because it's clear Natalie is on a mission to make an alliance with everyone in the cast.

So now, myself, Rob, and Hayden are in an alliance. And somehow I could sense Kelley's own WTFNESS at Rebucky being picked first so I will eventually attempt to see if she will flip. Otherwise I could try to split the votes up. Myself and the boys will come to a tie if we have to though.

I tried to throw the challenge just to deal with some of the huge social threats on our tribe. It didn't work. But we won anyway so it was a risk that didn't really matter. Natalie, Kelley, and Rebecca just demonstrated even more how powerful they are. Rebecca probably needs to go first. I know she probably checks the memberlist about logins but the fact that she looked at when I logged out just shows that she's playing Extra.

We don't need that right now.

*stares icily at the camera*

I have forged a cross-tribal alliance with Dan the Fool. I think this might be my favorite, most important alliance in the game. He's pretty much the most offensively unattractive person in the entire world. And I'm one of the hottest. He tells me I need to watch my ass but I'll let him do that for me.

Okay so I like Kelley. She will go last out of our alliances first targets.

Whatever tribe Brenda and Dan are on, it's so pathetic I don't even know the name. But I just sit here laughing my ass off imaging them two players trying to work this very simple challenge together. It probably took 5 minutes for them to just upload Wikipedia. And since Brenda can't pay attention to anything past her nose, she probably has no clue there's even been games outside of the ones she's been in. And Dan, I doubt Dan knows anyone else is capable of winning besides himself.

Wait I meant the official profile. Duh Jaclyn <3

So far my under the radar strategy seems to be paying off. No one is calling me "inactive", they are just saying I'm busy. I still have a shot at winning this. Congrats, Jac!

My main allies are Boston and Dan. Final 3! Those are my two boys.

Ultimately though I'm just here to cause trouble. The girls Natalie and Kelley think I'm still with them. So does Crystal. That's why I haven't been voted out. I also had a tight alliance with Bro Robb! People think I'm not here but I've been here enough to secure my safety.

Kelley seems to be playing both sides so I shared some of her pm's. People are just too wishy washy about her needing to get the fuck out of this game so hopefully the info in these pm's will give everyone that little extra push they need to target her officially.

I mean, she's way too aggressive and makes it SO obvious that she's fat. I can see her gameplay 15 miles away. Transparent much? Like your translucent skin.

I asked her about the vote and she TOLD me who to vote. You don't know me, honey. Nobody tells me what to do.

So I'm hoping to get her out of here next. Everyone wants it to be Cirie but I think that's where I'm going to flip over to once Kelley is gone. Kelley is way too strong and is my single biggest competition. I have to get rid of her.

As of right now though, we're waiting on the "Crystal boot" tribal council. But something isn't right. Dan and Crystal are both in here. They PM me, and then they get quiet. I think they have a secret alliance? I want Dan to win but not if he's gonna be double and triple dipping.

Watch YOUR ass, Dan!

Bro Robb's tribal council outburst is one of the funniest things I've seen in the game so far. Whenever someone just lets loose their true feelings, I have to applaud it. And it lets me know I'm not the only one with an under the radar, disinterested storyline going on. He called the whole cast "useless pieces of sh!t". This is good news! Means I can still win this.

If this ugly bitch CIRIE and her lopsided picture get me voted out with an idol...

I will rip hair out.

I don't understand why Dan would be so demanding for me to hurry and vote when they hadn't even solidified a plan yet. Brenda is telling me they're splitting votes on Nat/Cirie. Votes need to be split, yes! But I already voted Crystal. Do these idiots not even watch Survivor? Maybe the last one they saw was Thailand? You have to plan around these obstacles.

If this backfires they have no one to blame but themselves.

I really hate to see Ms. Crystal Rice Cox leave us so early but I wasn't about to vote out Dan.

Now I'm just pretending to be confused.

And with Brenda being such a moron it's not that hard cause she's always going to be ACTUALLY confused and I can just pretend.

Up next....*rubs hands together*....I probably have no say in this game but let me see if I can do somethin'. Kelley wants Dan out. Still not doing it. So Natalie, Boston, Dan, and I will have to figure out an alternative vote. Cirie or Todd.

I am really ENJOYING this. All of a sudden this became a fun ass game for me. I was bored but I don't know what's going on. Natalie's making 3 more rooms for the new alliances she's made. I mean how is she even still here? This bitch is hilarious. She's made like 164 different alliances, and I can't imagine they're all still here? Yet no one got loud with her?

Love her. A very unholy alliance was solidified today, between myself and Natalie.

Ever since Natalie opened that room with the two of us....my wheels just started spinning. Then I'm noticing, with this twist you guys are using, EVERYONE is literally actually truly confused. Not just Brenda this time. I'm either playing with all the stupids and I'm one of them, or this is a prime opportunity to manipulate the vote, blindside someone for no reason, and then stare vacantly at them as they walk down that lonely path, out of the game. *waves with each finger like a beauty queen*

omfg why are there so many rooms? I'm in like 8 of them. I feel like a prostitute having to visit all of them so late at night. Natalie is just absolutely OUT OF CONTROL! <3

So there's this Fab Five alliance now. HEW is even IN it? I know I saw Cirie's lopsided picture in there. I think I might have stumbled into an alternate universe because last time I checked, Cirie was in the opposing alliance? Between Kelley and Natalie, I'm not sure who smokes more paint shavings. It's like they overdose on caffeine and have to start making alliances like ANTS. Like those little bug things? It's insanity. But anyway yes apparently Jaclyngoddess has been invited into the Fab Five. I don't know what they are even TALKING about in there so I just threw something random out like..

"I feel like Spencer's lurking there in a dangerous way. "

It makes NO sense whatsoever and is just an impulsive comment, but Kelley and Cirie are actually running with it.

In the end...I think Cirie has anger issues. She's gotta go and she's gotta be blindsided. And in future games, please choose a better picture.

*hair FLOP*

Jesus Christ I cackled like 5 times during that

I start to get anxiety when I log in here. This cast has oh I'd say 74 mood swings a night. Last time they, as in everyone cause I talk to everyone, were targeting Dan. Again. But last night it was Brenda, Crystal, Dan, Spencer, and me. It's really fun though. I'm having a blast now. I'm glad I made you cackle. I do still have this apple. I think it represents my "million dollars" now

Well apparently Kelley also got the memo that everyone needs a greasy lesbian avatar. She chose such an angry picture so maybe it's the sexually frustrated DeeShayMyeei? Oh God not her again. She always gets so pissed off about games.

Brenda <3 though. Her pic is so hot and I just might take her to the end. She's SO dumb. hahaha.

Serious moment though so many people need to be taken down. I don't even think they're gonna target me. If I can get to the end with Brenda and also Rob, that's my goal for now. Todd is also in my thoughts. I am worried about this vote actually. It's where I'll finally have to stick out and nobody better get in my face cause I'll fight back.

Such an inactive BITCH. I laughed so hard when I saw I only have cast two votes in this game so I sense Kelley is coming for me with her tribal council comments. Something about "it's sad I'm in this position cause I play hard and show up everyday". Yeah gurl WE KNOW. That's probably why you're in that POSITION!

I really missed Bro Robb when I woke up this morning. He probably would've been my one true friend in the game. But he left during my inactive spell. I need people to forget me, my boobs, and my apple. I stick out way too much like a dumbass, I always do that to myself.

I'll get Kelley though. I know she's making faces at me and the avatars just keep getting uglier and bitchier-looking so I knew it was only a matter of time before the blondes would have to target each other. For now, we got some nerdy shit to break up. Sorry, Dan, I have to flip somewhere but I'll be back. That Sexy Six room, no...we can't. Please lock it. <3

hahahaha and since I know what a bitch Natalie truly is...this bitch said she HATES Brenda in all caps....well I just thought her post in the middle of all the other sexies was hilarious cause you could tell she was like awkwardly laughing like hahaha ummmm cool who made this aka wtf this is awful. Like if we were in person, we'd be giving each other the eyes in secret like "bitch this is awkward af". Then I have a feeling they'll be mad at us for "flipping" when they basically just kidnapped us for our votes. I can always just pretend it wasn't me. Maybe they'll blame someone else and their alliance will fracture and maybe they will fight and get loud and ruin their chances further, all the while I'm here just enjoying the scent of this new conditioner I used!

The Sexy Three alliance Dan/Spencer/Brenda wanna split the vote between Cirie and Kelley.

So this vote will be a damn mess. I love it. Waiting for fireworks.

Instead of fireworks, there was just respect. I love it. You can't hate on a good game move. And a few of us, we're just ready to take this game into our own hands.

Myself, Boston, Todd, Natalie, and Dan will be the final 5.

Natalie is currently trying to get Todd voted out but I keep noticing her be like "hahah gotta get Kelley out but we need her for now". No we don't. I feel like she could use Kelley to her advantage. And since Kelley's always been very jealous of me, I can't take a risk. I have to make sure Natalie has no other option but Jaclyn.

I just made a ton of rooms.

#smokeandmirrors

me/Natalie/Brenda/Dan
Brenda/Dan/Todd
me/Natalie/Todd
me/Natalie/Rob
Natalie/Cirie/Kelley
Cirie/me/Natalie

Let's just make it a cluster fuck and confuse everyone even more!

That's my apple.

The crap ton of rooms we currently have is making it easy for me to sneak around. This will just make it a done deal that I win. Nobody actually has any clue what's going on anymore. They don't even know who they're WITH! They don't even know what alliance they're in so I will decide for them.

I even made rooms that I'm not in, so the people can enter them and be like um wtf. I just need this to happen. It's hilarious.

If you make the rooms without me in it, I feel like it's an unprecedented move. Try it. See what happens.

So Today I decided to vote out Todd and side with the Brenda/Dan/Boston side of things. Next, I will probably make a really complex move but I haven't figured it out yet. These people are actually waiting on my vote. Set myself up perfectly!

Obviously, we won't need to make Todd's room as Todd is going bye bye today. Thanks for playing, Todd, we have some nice wine baskets prepared for you at Ponderosa. Better just stick to alcohol you're not that great at this Survivor stuff anymore.