Confessionals

ROUND ONE CONFESSIONAL:

Oh gosh, I'm so excited to finally be playing Survivor again! I haven't played a game in so long, and I'm really looking to make a come-back! I finally have enough time to dedicate to the game, so I'm ready to rock it!

My first impression of the cast isn't exactly the greatest, but hopefully they will surprise me. No one's jumping out to me as a great "first alliance" to make. I messaged a few people and definitely made some alliances, but nothing I'm really passionate about.

I suppose it will be fun to flirt with Hayden for a while, but the more I talk to him, the more I realize he's really just not that bright! Still, that bod though. Mhmmm.

For my pre-game, I wanted to make alliances or at least "friendships" with as many groups as possible. So I made my San Juan Del Sur alliance with Kelley (probably my best ally at the moment) and Jaclyn. I made an alliance with Hayden. One with Rebecca (who is the most eloquent player here, and someone I think will do well). And then also I somehow ended up in a black girls alliance (WTF I'm Sri Lankan) and so I added Rebecca and NaOnka so we have a five-way dark girls alliance <3 I think Crystal and NaOnka are annoying though, so we'll see how that does.

I'm trying to play this game hard because that's how I have the most fun. If it ends up sending me home, well that's how the cookie crumbles. But for now I'm having a blast!

ROUND ONE CONFESSIONAL:

SO when I saw it was a reward challenge and that the winners would get to pick the tribes, I immediately was like NO WAY am I even going to try to win it. And then my competitive nature kicked in and I thought, fuck it! Why not win it and put myself on the best tribe possible! So that's exactly what I did.

I'm not sure how good my tribe will be at challenges, but I sure as hell am set up well! I have my SJDS alliance as half my tribe. Then I have my boo Hayden (dumb as a rock but sexy as hell) and then Rebecca. And I added Rob on there at the end because I've seen him be active and he might help us out with challenges. If he doesn't, well he's gone first.

Overall, I definitely put a target on myself, but I had a blast and I'm glad I got a little bit of control. I should hopefully be set up well for the next few weeks!

Rob sent me a PM thanking me for picking him lol so I told him "You're welcome! I totally would have picked you earlier but I thought Spencer picked you! Then I realized Spencer picked Robb, not Rob!"

So hopefully Rob won't be mad for being picked last!

ROUND ONE CONFESSIONAL:

Wow, the people in this game kind of suck. I'm definitely the leader of my tribe, as they just can not get organized without me! I feel like it will make me into a target later on, especially at a tribe swap.

I don't think we'll lose a challenge before a swap, so I'm hoping to keep my "black girls alliance" strong and then of course my "Blood Vs Water" alliance of Me/Hayden/Kelley/Jaclyn. That way whenever we do merge or swap, I should hopefully have some people still on my side. I could easily see myself being picked off right at the beginning of a swap, so I need to make sure that doesn't happen.

I'm going to talk to Cirie about making a cross-tribal alliance to further keep ourselves safe, but I think I've got some time before anything drastic happens. The other tribes kind of suck so I think we'll probably win for a while.

Have fun at tribal, losing tribe! I forgot your name already. <3

ROUND ONE CONFESSIONAL:

OMG AND I FORGOT TO TELL YOU I totally think Hayden acts like RTF and I fucking swear if I've been flirting with RTF and Kathy didn't tell me I'm going to be so upset <3

Get it girl <3

ROUND TWO CONFESSIONAL:

IM SO SAD NA ONKA IS GONE!

Actually not really. I mean I guess it sucks we lost a black girl alliance member, but she wasn't all that active. I think that tribe is kind of dumb though, and they definitely had better options to eliminate. But oh well

I decided to have a life and go to a concert tonight last-minute (omg Pentatonix is fucking incredible) but that meant I was going to miss the challenge. And my tribe STILL rocked it out!

This game is really easy so far. I'm sure once we swap, it will get more difficult. But for now I'm kind of just slugging along, trying to keep my alliances in tact and up to date. Hayden's kind of annoying me, so I'm thinking of replacing him in my alliance with Rob. Rob seems smarter and less RTF-like (lol). And Hayden told me he thought I had been quiet lately, which means he thinks I'm not trustworthy. Um yeah, I was quiet because it was the weekend and I'm not wasting my time on the forum when there's no challenges! Puhhh lease.

I think I'm in a good spot for now, but anything can happen in this game.

Omg I'm so jealous. Pentatonix <333

ROUND THREE CONFESSIONAL:

So when I saw the reward challenge, I immediately knew I needed to win it. Not because I really thought I need the reward, but mainly I don't want anyone else to have it! And especially since the winner is secret, there were no downsides for going for the reward. And what do you know! I won it!

A double vote is definitely going to help me in this game. There's still 16 people left, and it's good up to the final seven. That's a lot of tribals I can use it at! Hopefully I won't have to use it at all and my alliances will carry me through, but I have it up my sleeve just in case. I'm also not going to tell anyone about it, mainly because I don't know who my closest allies are yet. It's definitely on a need to know basis, and frankly no one needs to know it!

The immunity challenge was hard and annoying. It put me in a bad mood because I felt like I was just failing. How the actual fuck were we supposed to go back through MONTHS of survivor imdb pages to find specific posts?! All in 30 minutes?!

Somehow by the grace of the Survivor gods, we pulled it out. And you know why? Freaking CIRIE helped me win it! She PMed me and told me that her tribe used a special board reader website to easily find the posts. I used it and got my third answer in RIGHT before the 30 minutes were up! Luckily Vittu only had 2 answers correct, and we pulled out the win!

Rebecca is kind of pissing me off by not showing up for the challenges. Also why the actual fuck would Jaclyn sit this challenge out!? We should have sat someone out who wasn't going to be here. Jaclyn was here to say "I'll sit out" so she was definitely here. Rebecca wasn't at all. If we sat out Rebecca, we would have had an extra person to send in at the challenge.

Ugh, regardless, I haven't had to go to tribal so I don't really care <3

ROUND FOUR CONFESSIONAL:

Oh no! Hayden went home. I figured he would. Sad day. Oh well, I'll get over it.

I am getting worried my old tribe was becoming a big target since we hadn't lost anyone, so Hayden going home is probably a good thing in the end.

I've started spreading rumors that Cirie is making this huge alliance and I'm hoping gaining some people who will want to target her. I also have my advantage, which I won't hesitate to use if I need to! But luckily, I haven't had to go to tribal yet My tribe rocks.

ROUND FIVE CONFESSIONAL:

WE MERGED!!!

Super excited about this, because I think we're really getting down to the fun part of the game where the best players remain. Plus I *hope* I've made enough connections that they will carry me through a few rounds. I also have my advantage but I don't want to play it until I have to.

I have found one downside to having the advantage - people are scared that someone has an idol! From my knowledge, there's not an idol in the game and that makes me super happy. But people aren't going to target the threats if they're scared of an idol.

I hope I've managed to get people on my side. For the past few days I've been planting seeds that Cirie/Aubry/Todd are aligned. It's definitely true, but I want everyone to see that and forget that I have a group of four with Kelley/Jaclyn/Rob.

This vote kind of depends on Spencer and Robb joining with us. I don't see why they wouldn't since Crystal told me she wants to vote Spencer and Robb, but oh well. This game is crazy and anything can happen.

No ones really online so communication is really limited, which worries me. If someone doesn't get online to vote, it could screw up all our plans. I'm praying that doesn't happen.

ROUND SIX CONFESSIONAL:

Well, my plan worked and Aubry went home. I'm the one who planted Aubry's name in everyone's head, and the whole tribe just kind of went along with it. And I don't think everyone's realized that I'm the one with connections to everybody. That's great for me!

Now yes, I'm connected to (most) everybody in one way or another, but do I trust anyone? Nope! Not even Kelley, my "closest" ally. She's starting to act a little shady, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't think I need to do anything ASAP, but I definitely need to watch it.

I don't really care who goes this round, as long as it's not me or one of my "closest" peeps. Everyone seems to be saying Robb, and he's inactive and obnoxious so I'm cool with that.

ROUND SEVEN CONFESSIONAL:

Well this round is certainly a doozy!

First off, no one has noticed so far that I'm actually Nadiya and I swapped places with Natalie <3 Tell no one, especially that hag Tina <3 <3 <3

Part of my plan since the beginning of the merge was to avoid looking like a threat. I'm pretty good at these challenges, and I think I could win a lot of them. But it's soooo early in this merge game! I don't want to be a target! *coughciriecough* Well girl, the only reason you're winning all these immunities is because I don't want to! For two reasons! 1. It would make me a target and 2. I wouldn't get to vote at tribal! That would suck because my "side" needs all the votes it can get.

The problem is, I don't know what side I'm on anymore. I love Kelley and wouldn't vote her out (this early in the merge game at least) but I don't love her friends that she's been fraternizing with. Crystal needs to go home, and I'm hoping it happens sooner rather than later. I have a couple options at the moment though. From my understanding, this is how the vote will fall.

Brenda is immune and cannot vote.

Cirie/Crystal/Todd/Kelley will be voting for Dan. 4 votes.

Dan/Spencer/Jaclyn will be voting for Crystal. 3 votes.

And that leaves Rob and I as the swing votes! Hopefully. I could be totally wrong about this, but we'll see. Spencer and Dan wanted to vote out Todd for some reason, but I kept suggesting Crystal's name and I got it to stick. So now I have an option, and my whole plan is to get Rob to decide on it so I build trust with him. I want him to feel like he's the one deciding who to vote, when I know that he'll most likely want to vote for Crystal.

I'm waiting to hear back from Rob (plz come online boo thang) and when he says "Yeah let's vote for Crystal" then I'll probably follow suit. If he wants to vote for Dan, I'll probably do the same. I could still work well next round with Dan being out. I'd still be in a good position.

If Rob doesn't get on at all, then it would be a 4-4-1 vote with Rob getting a penalty. But who knows! Maybe I'll make things interesting and play my advantage. Anything can happen in this crazy game of Survivor

ROUND EIGHT CONFESSIONAL:

Ugh that could NOT have gone more perfectly! I flip-flopped and got Dan's alliance to love me since I just saved them, so I'd imagine I won't be a target next round by them. And CRYSTAL LEFT thank goodness! She was stealing my bff Kelley away from me, so I took Crystal out to get Kelley back. This game is a chess game, and I'm just checkmated Crystal. Bye boo, you were a lot of fun!

Also I had a realization that Jaclyn is Soco, which I'm really hoping is true because we always align in mystery games and have a blast together. That would be so hilarious if we get to the final two!

I'm worried because so far, I think I've been playing a pretty good social game. Last round I heard that Brenda is targeting me, so I've messaged her about working together and I don't think she's going to target me anytime soon now! I have good relations with Dan's alliance since I just saved them, and I'm working on repairing my alliance with Kelley since I'm all she has left now. This is a perfect situation for me!

A+ confessional!

ROUND EIGHT CONFESSIONAL:

I know I'm probably setting myself up for failure by saying this but... HOW does no one see that I'm controlling this game?! I have my hand in everybody's back pocket and when I say move right, they move right. When I say move left, they move left. But the best part is, they don't even realize that my hand is wedged so far up their ass, I'm touching their brain. It's madness. But hey, I'll take it!

As long as no one's lying to me (which they easily could be cause Dan is being sketch as fuck tonight) then I don't think anyone's targeting me. Dan wants to split the votes between Cirie and Kelley (lol yeah sure, great plan there buddy) and Cirie/Kelley want to vote off Spencer or Dan.

I want Spencer gone next as he's the one I haven't talked to and he's definitely not on my side. So I told Kelley "I'd really rather Brenda go just because she was targeting me, but I'll do Spencer if everyone wants to." Yeah girl, I'm sacrificing for you this vote! When in reality, I want Spencer gone and I'm the one controlling this vote.

I'm playing a VERY dangerous "in the middle" game where I'm aligned with everyone, and it could really come back and bite me in the ass in my end game. I could be a target, or I could piss the jury off so much that they don't want to vote for me if I make the finals. Either way, I'm playing this game to have fun and I think I'm succeeding so far!

ROUND NINE CONFESSIONAL:

I have so much to catch you up on <3

So after last vote, I was expecting a huge fall out from Spencer's side of the game against me. I was expecting harsh words or at least a pissy PM or two <3 And NOTHING! I definitely had to do some damage control with Dan, Rob and Brenda, but I got them to get over it SO quickly! Almost too quickly... to the point where I'm not sure if I believe them.

Which reminds me, can we talk about how IDIOTIC it was of them to split the vote?! I guess they really trusted me, but they really shouldn't have. And the best part is since it was a vote split, it was CHAOS for them trying to figure out who voted who. Brenda is apparently really pissed at Rob now which I find hilarious because Rob was the one who didn't do what I told him to do. Props to Rob for that, but you lost my trust forever. SORRY BOO! You suck at challenges though so I'll probably drag you to the end if possible.

My next target is Todd, which I kind of feel bad about. He's been my failsafe this entire game. I've blamed all my hinky votes on him, and now BOTH alliances don't trust him which I find hilarious. I think it's time for him to go though, and I'm hoping to make it happen in a way that both alliances will still trust me. We'll see if I can make it happen.

I don't really want to win immunity, but it might be a good idea just to make sure it doesn't go to someone I don't want it to go to.

ROUND NINE CONFESSIONAL:

OMG so I was going to throw the challenge but then one of the answers was "Work From Home" by Fifth Harmony and I'm friends with one of the girls in that group SO I FELT IT WAS A SIGN AND I HAD TO COMPLETE THE CHALLENGE!

And I won it. Which is great. But then I had to decide what to do with it, and that's when it got tricky.

I could keep immunity and just be 100% safe, but then I wouldn't get to vote and that's just boring! I want to play this game for fun. If it gets me eliminated and everyone turns on me, then so be it!

I don't see HOW they don't realize I'm playing everyone. If they were smart they'd all come together and vote me out. Honestly, it'd be the smartest thing. And if it happens, I'd give them props. But I'm hoping it doesn't

I decided to give Rob immunity, because I know he's scared and would be thankful for it. I can spin it to Dan that we didn't know how Rob would vote so we should immobilize him and not let him vote. And I can spin it to Kelley/Cirie that we should "save" Rob so he'll be more loyal to us, plus that way our alliance of four will have majority in the vote. Honestly, it couldn't have worked out more perfect! I'm glad I went for immunity. Thanks Fifth Harmony <3 Or if you need a Sri Lankan addition, Sixth Harmony <3

Now the biggest trouble will be getting them to vote for Todd instead of going against each other. I could play the easy game and tell Dan "Sure let's vote Cirie" and tell Cirie/Kelley "Sure let's vote Dan" but then I'd have to betray one of my alliances and show my true cards. I don't want to do that yet, so Todd is the perfect option for me.

Going forward, I want everyone in the game to be the people I talk with the most. We took out Robb, who I never talked to. We took out Crystal who I didn't trust. We took out Spencer because he didn't talk to me. All that's left is Todd and Brenda, and then the final six will all be my "friends". Friends who I don't think will target me until it's too late for them.

I'm reminding Dan that Cirie probably has an immunity idol (lol) so that will hopefully get him to vote Todd. We'll see what happens.

Which one are you friends with?

Ally! I worked with them all when I did boot camp for their season of The X Factor and was friendly with all of them, but Ally's the only one I've talked to and hung out with since!

AMG she's queen <3 I forgot about you working on X-Factor, that's awesome

She's super nice in real life!

ROUND TEN CONFESSIONAL:

LOL BYE TODD!

If you would have talked to me, I would have kept you around. Granted, I didn't try to initiate conversation, and talking is a two way street. Could be my bad, but someone had to go, and I wanted it to be someone I don't know where they stand.

Like Jaclyn told Cirie and Kelley, getting out Todd takes out a wildcard to our game. Todd was someone who would always vote with Cirie, even though people didn't know it (Not even Cirie lmao). Getting Todd out makes this "rivalry" between Cirie/Kelley and Dan even stronger, which guarantees they won't work together to take me out.

The last wildcard in my game is Brenda. Everyone else I have a pretty strong relationship with, so my goal of this round is to get Brenda OUT. Second choice, it will be Dan or Cirie. We'll see what ends up happening.

The hardest part of this round was the damage control with Cirie/Kelley since we blindsided them about Todd. I tried to convey that the vote was just so chaotic that no one really knew what was happening and it was an "accident" how it all went down. Yep, just like how it was an "accident" Crystal went home. LOL. Jaclyn is the perfect person to pin it on, since she's down to take the blame for the decision.

I know I look sneaky and Kelley/Cirie won't REALLY trust me, but I don't need their complete trust. I need just enough trust to where they won't target me. And with Dan still in the game, he'll keep their attention long enough to where they won't see me swoop in and take them out

Watching Fifth Harmony perform on the Billboard Awards <33

same gurl same <3